Only in my dreams?

After my week 4 "high" I'm hitting my week 6 "low". Someone call the waaaahmbulance, I'm feeling whiney about my new lifestyle today.

I feel like stepping off the path for just a day can throw me into a tail spin. Why is it SO fricken hard to lose weight? WHYYYY???

"I'll be right there, Ryan...just finishing up putting on the cellulite cream, honey!"

I keep having these dreams (like real dreams when I'm sleeping) that I'm HOT. Tan, skinny, long blond hair, toned and irresistible. Even Ryan Reynolds can't keep his hands off me! He can't help but throw me up against the wall and kiss me til I can't breathe. *sigh* Then my alarm clock goes off, and I begrudgingly turn it off and shuffle to the bathroom where I catch a glance of myself in my oversized t-shirt and underwear with my hair in a messy ponytail, smudged mascara around my eyes and those pesky extra pounds all over me. Yeah, I'm a real prize. No wonder my husband doesn't wake up til I'm put together and alive! I'm no dream girl at 7am!

One of my pals, I'll call her "CJ" asked me this in a recent conversation:

Would you rather be perfectly thin and happy with your body without a personality, talent or sense of humor or would you take who you are WITH your personality, talent and sense of humor? Hmm...a perfect body, but empty inside? It's tempting...but I think I'll pass.

As much as I yearn for a perfect body, I like who I am. I think most of my friends and family would agree I'm a fun person who enjoys life. If these extra pounds would just disappear, I feel like I could be Jess version 2.0....me, with a few enhancements!

So as I count down til my bedtime to snap into dream mode and await my dream boy Ryan Reynolds to sweep me off my tiny, toned, sexy feet again...I guess I'll keep my Fred Flinstone feet planted on the ground here in reality and keep plugging away at my lifestyle change.

I just wish it wasn't so hard to be here in reality...will I ever be skinny again, or is it only in my dreams?