***pretend you're hearing the Rocky theme song in the background while reading***
In this corner wearing red shorts: WOMAN, 5 feet, 5 inches. 40 pounds overweight!
In the other corner wearing white shorts: FOOD, tasty, tempting and very sneaky!
LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLLE!!!!!
Round 1: The dress. I bought a size 12 from a catalog, blindly ordering a size I HOPED I could fit into. It arrived 3 weeks before the wedding. It fits like a glove. Thank fricken God. I sware off all salt, sweets and avoid sharp corners...I bruise easily, ok?
Round 2: The week of the wedding just so happens to be my first official week of Weight Watchers. Crap! *sigh* Fine. I tracked all my food consumption all week long (you bite it, you write it!) and shopped smart to fill my fridge/pantry with filling and low-point foods. Going into the day of the wedding I had 16 Flex points left. On the day of the wedding, I ate light and had 14 of my daily points left. This is totally awesome! I have 30 points to use at the wedding! WHOO HOO!
Round 3: Reality hits me. I'm in my dress at the cocktail/appetizer hour after the ceremony (I feel pretty good in this dress, thanks to Spanx and a good bra). Eggrolls, chicken on a stick and meatballs are whizzing past my nose on platters. A large plate of crackers and a ginormous cheese ball are staring at me on the bar. The steam from the appetizers took shape of a finger on a hand beckoning me to "Come here. Eat me". Ohhh....I'm coming little egg rolls....I'll rescue you from that silver platter! As my mouth almost formed the word "YES" as the server held the plate out to me and said, "Would you like one?", I shook my head no, fighting the urge to utter the "Y word". Whooh, that was close...but it wasn't so bad. Those things were like 7 points EACH anyhow. So not worth it! Now I send the hubby to get me a drink at the bar.
Round 4: I LOVE Amaretto Stone Sours, aka: Liquid Candy. These are my all time favorite wedding drink, sadly, they're like 920 points each. On the way to the wedding in the car, my husband and I made a plan on what our drink of choice would be that evening. He nailed Gin and Tonic (because they taste like Christmas Trees smell, he says) and I decide on 7 & 7s. Had I known they'd serve the drinks in 2 liter glasses, I'd have settled on a water! Whooooah. My points are all thrown off now! How many jiggers of booze did they put in this thing? How many ounces of 7UP are hidden within the ice? Ugggg! I chalk up every drink being 5 points, and pout a little. I'll be dancing these off and milking them. I can pretend like I'm drunk, anyhow!
Round 5: Dinner...uh oh. I've already downed 2 drinks. But I've laughed a lot. That burns calories! And I'm having great conversation, I passed up on the yummy appetizers and so far, the night is going well! Then we get called up for the buffet dinner. This could be dangerous! In line, I eyeball bread and butter. Mmmmm. I'll take that, thanks! Salad, extra cucumbers, a teeny splash of french dressing hit my plate. Green beans and slivered almonds takes up more than 1/2 my plate. Two baby yellow potatoes, a sliver of beef and a hunk of chicken breast (minus the gravy it swims in) rounds off the plate. I'm pretty proud of the fact that my plate is more green than brown. I eat 1/2 of my roll WITH butter, chow down all the greens first, then eat just a few bites of the meat. So far, Woman is winning this fight against food!
Round 6: Dum, dum duuummmm. Cake! Anyone who knows me, knows I never pass up cake. Hubs grabs me a slice. Lucky for me, the servers cut the cake into 1/2 inch slivers. I love these servers! They saved the day! I ate my little tasty piece of cake sloooowwwly. It was deelish.
SCORE: Woman-5, Food-1
Round 7: BURN, BABY BURN! Now it's time to shake what my mama gave me and dance til I can't feel my feet anymore. I think I may have left the dance floor twice. Once to give my size nines a break b/c really, 3 inch red heels aren't made for us to dance in, right ladies? And the second time was to get water. But I was talked into getting a beer instead. Ok fine...one Coors Light, please. And I drank half. 1.5 points more to dance off!
And I danced. And danced...and I did ALL the things I said I would tonight. Having a plan, and sticking to it is definitely what helped me in this situation. My nemesis FJ (Fat Jess) would've had about 5 Amaretto Stone Sours, 5 little egg rolls, 2 pieces of bread with 16 pats of butter and skipped the salad. I quite possibly would've grabbed 2 pieces of cake, too! Snarf, snarf, snarf. And that's why I'm here writing this blog 40lbs overweight.
Make a plan. Follow it. Set a goal. Obtain it. You WILL win following those simple rules!
Ding, ding, ding! The bell rings, and the winner is announced!
In the red shorts WOMAN wins!
OMG! You make me LMAO!!!!! Good job Jess, I don't think I would have done as well. Found a great little treat if you like chocolate, I cant beleive I even wrote that. The WW chocolate creme cakes are yummy and they are only 1 point each. Obviously they arent very big but if you need dessert every night like I do and eat it slow it does the trick!
ReplyDelete