I think I can!

Remember the book about the little train that could? That's what I feel like this week. I feel like I'm carrying a huge load behind me. Hey now, I wasn't talking about my big ass! I just have SO much in my life I'm taking care of and want to do that it's wearing me down. My kids, my husband, my job(s), and my ability to do everything I love to do for the people I love to be with in the timeframes I have. Not to mention this weight loss, and the time that takes up! I'm one of those Canadian National trains that occupy the busy intersections with 140 cars. I think I can do this. I think I can. I think I can! I fricken HOPE I can!

My challenge in week 2 was to add the "E" word. Gasp! Exercise. I am giving a shot at this running thing. It's free, I can do it every day and it's something I can do with the hubs. Wow. Easier said than done. Days 1, 2 and 3 I squeezed in a mile and a half run. I felt like horking, but I did it within 15-17 miutes each time. That runner's high I heard about is a lie, by the way. I waited and waited for it to kick in and it never happened for me. I feel like a woman who can't achieve orgasm, here! What am I missing out on? How do I do it? What IS a runner's high? Because I tell ya what, I had a dry throat and my boobs hurt really bad...and that was not a high for me. But I'll keep on trying because I don't give up on things. Most of the time.

This week here in the northern 'burbs of Chicago we had some warmer temperatures and sunshine. Guess what that means? I have to trade in the North Face fleece, broken in-cozy blue jeans and Uggs in for leg and arm bearing outerwear and flip flops. Hurrumph! Let me describe how I feel about my body right now as seen in summer-ish clothing:

1) My arms look like a petite woman's legs. When did I gain weight THERE? And I spotted cellulite on them. I had to grab a brown paper bag to breathe into when I saw this! I think I hyper-venilated!

2) The "twins" are too big for me. I know, I know, I'm supposed to like being large and in charge in that area. But I hate it! My cleavage looks like a baby's butt on my chest and nothing fits right. I want my 34Bs back!

3) Hello bratwurst legs! I'm not talking about the Johnsonville cheddar brats here, I'm talking about those white brats with the real animal casing. Yep, that's what my legs look like...2 large bratwursts.

4) Don't get me started on my Fred Flinstone feet. And if you see me out in public, and I catch you staring at them, I'll yabba-dabba-doo your ass with these size 9s.

When I talk like this about my body, my hubs gets so mad at me. He must see me so differently. God bless him. Sometimes I worry I have beer goggles with myself and I leave the house looking like 10lbs of potatoes in a 5lb bag when I think I look like a rock star. Please, someone slap me if you ever see me in something inappropriate for my body! I'm pretty good about dressing for my body, but I've pushed the envelope a time or two. I mean, tube tops and half shirts are DEFINITELY off the table for me, but I like to wear things that SHOW my curves and shape. Not hang on me like a wet towel. Because as much weight as I will lose, I'll have hips. I'll have an ass and boobs. I will celebrate that. This gal won't ever wear a size 2! And that's ok!

I have vowed not to buy myself ANY new clothes until I am happy with my weight loss. When I'm happy with it, you'll know...because I'll gush on here. But for now, I'm thankful all of last season's summer clothes fit me and I can use those to get me by. At least, I think I can!